The Dark Side of Japan

After living in Berlin for about two years, I can definitely say that it is hard to make friends in Berlin. 

The reason is not because I am an asshole, it is rather due to the characteristic of the city. 

This is especially true, when you are no longer a student here in Berlin. As a student, you will get lots of opportunities to meet and interact with people and often you are likely to stay here at least two to three year span so that would give good enough amount of time to build a solid friendship base.

People in Berlin often come from various places other than Berlin and most of them are either working or studying. They come and leave so fast and staying here less than a year is pretty common. 

Actually, let me rephrase what I have said above, it is not hard to make shallow friendship in Berlin, however things are different when you talk about long lasting good deep friendship.

I feel people I know in Berlin are just my acquaintances not really friends because my relationship with them are pretty shallow and superficial in a way.

I know they are not trustworthy when I am in real shit and desperately need help.

I do not blame them, because it is normal for them to act like that. It just indicates how shallow relationships here in Berlin are. Some may argue that this is not true, well I believe then the difference is on the personality. 

If you have the type of personality, where you do not mind faking or being silly then I guess you could do well in Berlin. If you do not take things seriously and if you are dumb enough to think that everyone you know are friends. If you are such kind, then you will do great here in Berlin.

It also matters who you are going to interact with. It is extremely hard to make a real good German friend, even if you are a student. 

The real obstacle to this is the language. I speak German fine, good enough to for example, negotiate my land line internet connection contract as well as dealing with all the utility bills and also to have a call to discuss when there is an issue.

Even with decent level of German, it is still tough to make a good German friend and this is why so many foreigners in Berlin are stuck to making friends and interacting with Expats rather than locals. 

I mean, if you think about it, as a foreign student, you are likely to hangout with international students, and not with German students. If you are working here, you are likely to hangout with your colleagues, and you might have German colleagues but such an environment, you are expected to be speaking in English rather than German. In such situation, you are losing the essence of interaction between Germans and you.

It is even tougher for a foreigner to find a good German friend.